Thursday, March 31, 2011

See and Smile

"I'm not scared of anything"
I wish my lie was true.
I don't want help,
"I don't need anything from you!"

I hate when I cry.
I hate when I'm scared.
My life is going by
I can't feel anything, anywhere.

I'm sad and depressed
I'm weak an abused.
I'm told I'm bad.
I just don't know what to do.

"I don't want your help"
But I don't want to cry.
"Leave me here"
"Just say good-bye!"

"So your gone....?"
"Good riddance" I say!
I guess I'm going to cry for
Just one more day

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Each night i put my head to my pillow. i try to tell myself that i'm strong because i've gone one more day without YOU

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

waiting waiting

Go go kouru

keep waiting for ur girl

she will come back


Friday, March 18, 2011


someone give me a quotes

If you love somebody, Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....

i already set u free


if seem like u will never come back

so i change that stupid quotes

If you love somebody, Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...


so now

i just wait for u



and keep waiting

until u come back 

because You mean  everything to me.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


"Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him"

Saturday, March 12, 2011

i trying


i say

nothing impossible in this world

but when i through it all alone

without any help from you

that must be
impossible for me

to continue our relationship

even u say u love me

but u just make me suffer with ur "BestFriend"

and ur lie....

when i say 

want END 

u just say ok?

where ur feeling? or maybe u don't have any feeling?

like a doll?

and when i say about feeling

u just said i don't understand

maybe u think i don't understand?

but i want ask you

did u really understand?

can i ask you?

did you still remember ur promise?

u said u won't do it again

but now u broke all ur promise

so is true what i said to u before

Promise is made to be broken..

when i said i want END our reletionshp

did u know?

teardrop on my face?

and i say to myself

why should i cry?

i should be happy

coz no one will make me suffer

but why?

i keep crying?


but now i know why

coz u is my life

when i said i want END our relationship

if seem like i killing MYSELF

and i swear

i still love you


Sunday, March 6, 2011


Just don't really know what I feel right now.  

I'm REALLY depressed. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking tonight, I don't trust myself. 

I don't want to go back to being that person that I used to be. 

I'm so tired of trying.  

I just want to sleep for eternity, go into an eternal void.  

Or wake up and be someone else, waking up to see that this hell that I call a life was nothing but merely a bad dream.  

I wish I could be truly happy, "normal". 

So tired, so angry, so sad. 

I really want to die, I can't believe I just wrote that, but it's how I truly feel. 

Don't know what to do.  

don't want to sleep, even though I am extremely tired right now.  

Please don't let me let go... 

Hold me ,  

Tell me everything is okay, 

Let me know you're here, 

Tell me how strong I am... 

Show me how disciplined I am. 

I'm sick of being a nobody, not good enough to be a somebody.  

I'm such a stupid puppet... 

Good night to all, I'm just saying what's on my mind....drunk and depressed, good combination huh? 

Thank you anyone who takes the time to read this nonsense.


Everything around me is blurring as I look at myself in the mirror
Am I kidding myself? Look at me...
Dark circle under my eyes, my lips pale
The fakest smile I have ever seen over me face
New tears run down my cheeks, my face paler than paper.
Who am I joking? Everyone can see that bruise on my eye
The red slits on my writs and the pain in my eyes.
I spend the day faking a smile and saying everything is fine
And telling everyone I love him
Can't anyone save me from this nightmare? 
When someone askes if im fine, can't they see the horrible smile? 
Can't they see the tears? 
Can't they hear me when I turn around and say everything? 
Can't they hear me screaming inside so loud? 
Screaming that im living me nightmare? 
So, everything i know is gone..
I give up and let go
I give up on my fake smile..