i trying

yeah 

i say

nothing impossible in this world

but when i through it all alone

without any help from you

that must be impossible for me

to continue our relationship

even u say u love me

but u just make me suffer with ur "BestFriend"

and ur lie....

when i say 

want END 

u just say ok?

where ur feeling? or maybe u don't have any feeling?

like a doll?

and when i say about feeling

u just said i don't understand

maybe u think i don't understand?

but i want ask you

did u really understand?

can i ask you?

did you still remember ur promise?

u said u won't do it again

but now u broke all ur promise

so is true what i said to u before

Promise is made to be broken..

when i said i want END our reletionshp

did u know?

teardrop on my face?

and i say to myself

why should i cry?

i should be happy

coz no one will make me suffer

but why?

i keep crying?

why?

but now i know why

coz u is my life

when i said i want END our relationship

if seem like i killing MYSELF

and i swear

i still love you

              

tired

Just don't really know what I feel right now.  

I'm REALLY depressed. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking tonight, I don't trust myself. 

I don't want to go back to being that person that I used to be. 

I'm so tired of trying.  

I just want to sleep for eternity, go into an eternal void.  

Or wake up and be someone else, waking up to see that this hell that I call a life was nothing but merely a bad dream.  

I wish I could be truly happy, "normal". 

So tired, so angry, so sad. 

I really want to die, I can't believe I just wrote that, but it's how I truly feel. 

Don't know what to do.  

don't want to sleep, even though I am extremely tired right now.  

Please don't let me let go... 

Hold me ,  

Tell me everything is okay, 

Let me know you're here, 

Tell me how strong I am... 

Show me how disciplined I am. 

I'm sick of being a nobody, not good enough to be a somebody.  

I'm such a stupid puppet... 

Good night to all, I'm just saying what's on my mind....drunk and depressed, good combination huh? 

Thank you anyone who takes the time to read this nonsense.

behind....

Everything around me is blurring as I look at myself in the mirror
Am I kidding myself? Look at me...
Dark circle under my eyes, my lips pale
The fakest smile I have ever seen over me face
New tears run down my cheeks, my face paler than paper.
Who am I joking? Everyone can see that bruise on my eye
The red slits on my writs and the pain in my eyes.
I spend the day faking a smile and saying everything is fine
And telling everyone I love him
Can't anyone save me from this nightmare? 
When someone askes if im fine, can't they see the horrible smile? 
Can't they see the tears? 
Can't they hear me when I turn around and say everything? 
Can't they hear me screaming inside so loud? 
Screaming that im living me nightmare? 
So, everything i know is gone..
I give up and let go
I give up on my fake smile..